the residue of lies

Here’s a question:

Let’s say that you somewhat randomly discover/realize that someone lied to you (betrayed your trust) about something a couple of years ago. And let’s say you knew that the person lied to you about other things in the past, but you didn’t know about this particular thing until just now – so it’s not new data, exactly; it’s just a newly discovered example of the same old data. And let’s say that, while it would have mattered a lot at the time – really, it doesn’t matter anymore, today, now, here. You’ve moved on from that situation.

Do you call them on the new information? Let them know that now you know, and hold them accountable? Or do you just let it go? Throw up your hands and say, “Well, it’s a good thing *that* is over!” and keep it to yourself?

I tend to be a let-it-go person in general. I find it is better for my own energy and potential for joy in life. Acknowledge that the betrayal happened, make a mental note to reference in any future similar situations, and then refocus on the things that mean the most to me.

But sometimes I wonder if that attitude implicitly rewards bad behavior. Sometimes I think calling people on their BS a little more often might be good for my soul. I think some of my friends might agree; I’ve been accused of letting people off the hook too easily on more than one occasion.

At the same time, I have no desire to dwell on past wrongs – for my own sake. It’s no fun. What purpose does calling someone out serve, really? It doesn’t change what happened. It’s done, it’s over, it’s in the past.

I’d rather focus on the people who are here now, supporting me, loving me, bringing me joy, treating me with respect and, as far as I know, not lying to me – at least, not about the important stuff.

What do you think?

Addendum: As I wrote the above, a friend sent me a link to the following song that he thought I would like (which I do). Perhaps, in an act of synchronicity, the title provides my answer?


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